Epsilon Class

JoyWhen not writing about herself in the third person, Joy may be found brushing her teeth and/or delivering newborns. She is a prospective Bodybuilding and Canadian Studies double major who enjoys nothing more than long walks on the beach, foie gras and fine wine, kissing in the rain, and bad dating website clichés. As of today, her attempts to spread the use of the word “goober” have been fruitless. If you have questions, comments, or if you wish to arrange a book-signing event, please contact her publicist at 867-5309.

Kathy is a geeky, pun-loving epicurean by day, and at night she just goes to sleep. Or so she wishes. Having lived in mostly tropical places (or just places with no weather norcal hells yeah) for her entire life, she also wishes she could hibernate in the winter. A prospective ChemE major, Kathy probably always has some exam to study for or lab report to write, but that doesn’t stop her from, uh, not doing those things. She likes painting, shoes, webcomics, Wolfram Alpha (seriously!), and digressing a lot (like Ammianus Marcellinus) whenever she writes anything. She dislikes the 54-minute limit on Megavideo and her Lady Gaga Pandora station when it plays irrelevant music.

Nicole is a potential political science major from California. If she could choose a friend from a novel, it would be Clarisse McClellan from Farenheit 451; her insatiable curiosity, love for life, and originality would be contagious. Together, they would catch raindrops in their mouths and jump in piles of leaves. Nicole would show Clarisse her perfected method of making instant mashed potatoes and how to tap dance in sneakers. Their discussions about the meaning of love and life would draw out into the night, long after the last chord from Clarisse’s midnight piano concerts had dissipated into the air. Nicole also loves Hong Kong and everything associated with it.

Coming from a family of nine, Lauren plans to spend her life playing with kiddies as a pediatrician, if she can survive the seven billion years of school to get there. Having just finished her certifications for being an EMT, she dreams of the chance she will get to stab someone in the leg with an eppie-pen, saving the world from anaphylactic shock. If she’s not at work, on hulu, or making a complete fool of herself, you’ll find her looking up pictures of all the kitties and puppies she wants to smuggle into her dorm room. She tries to be funny, but always just ends up talking in her Californian ghetto language, badly impersonating accents, or deeming everything to be what she said.

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